Think about all of the positive attributes you have that they don’t. Perhaps you can play piano well or volleyball, or maybe you are a very nice person. Focus on your own strengths. You might even try writing down your strengths and posting them somewhere that you will see them daily, such as on your bathroom mirror or closet door. You can invite trusted friends and family members to contribute to your list if you are having trouble coming up with a list of your strengths.
For instance, if you notice everyone is wearing a certain brand of shoe, but you don’t like that shoe, don’t buy it just to fit in. Wear the clothes that you love and you’ll feel happier and more like yourself. It is also important to avoid changing your personality or behavior to fit in with others. Do things that are within your moral compass and be yourself.
Consider that they also may find you intimidating. This will help you feel more comfortable when you are around them if you feel that the two of you have similar feelings and are equals. Keep in mind that social media can make anyone seem confident, even if they are not.
Try to have some ideas about how you will handle a situation if it does not work out, but also avoid anticipating the worst. Try to think positive and imagine that the situation will go well. Expecting the worst to happen may lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even if they insult you, you can just walk away from the situation. They’re not worth your time.
Remember that they may be shy and are perhaps just waiting for you to talk to them first.
Breathe in deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth. Do this a few times until you feel calm. You can also do a quick scan of your body to locate any areas of tension. This will send a message to your brain that everything is okay.
Think deeply when compiling this list. Everyone has a unique set of strengths. Think about all of the nice things you have done for others later or the ways that you are special. Some examples of positive qualities are intelligence, beauty, kindness, humor, empathy, and ambition, but there are many more. You can enlist the help of friends and family members to help you make a complete list. They might point out strengths that you had not considered. Post the list where you will see it daily.
Remember that achievements are beyond your grades. Accomplishments are not just in the things that you can produce, but also in how you impact people. Maybe you are a very good babysitter or help take care of your siblings. That is important and should be noted. Your effort and hard work are also things that you should add to this list. For example, even if you did not win first place in a track meet, all the training time that you put in to prepare yourself for the race is an accomplishment.
Pick your outfit out the night before school so you don’t have to rush in the mornings. Select clothes that are ironed and clean. Accessorize with something unique like a cool pair of earrings or funky shoes.
Don’t overdo it with exercise, however. If you are not very physically active, start small by exercising 2-3 times per week. Don’t exercise to look like these other girls. Do it for yourself to look and feel better!
For instance, if you sometimes think of yourself as being unattractive, think of all the times that others have told you that you are pretty. Also recognize that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we all have traits that are beautiful and unique to us. If you find yourself dwelling on an insecurity that you can’t seem to overcome, then you may want to see a therapist for help.
Try to spend less time around people who are negative or who make you feel badly about yourself. This is a confidence killer.
You can try repeating positive mantras in your head like “I will not let them hurt me. I am powerful and wonderful and no one can make me feel otherwise. ”
Take a nice hot bubble bath after a long day. Read a new book or an old one that you enjoy. Watch a movie. Have an at home spa day. Do your nails and hair and put on a face mask. Indulge in a favorite hobby, or start a new hobby and spend some time learning it. Advocate for causes that you are passionate about, such as education, the environment, or animals.
You may also want to evaluate whether certain friendships are healthy or not. If they are unhealthy, then you may need to let them go.
Don’t take a seat at the back of the class or move off of the sidewalk to make room for a group. Sit where you would like to sit and walk where you would like to walk without being rude.
For instance, perhaps you feel intimidated by the lunch lady or by your older sister, but not to the point that you feel afraid or overly nervous around them. Talk to them more during the day than you normally would. You’ll feel all the stronger for it.
Ask one of them to pass you a ball in gym class or a cup in the cafeteria. Make a remark to them that doesn’t require a response like “the weather is so nice today. ”
Be sure not to laugh out loud when you are talking to them unless one of you says something funny.
