Be aware that if you are using social media to find out where your ex is and then find him or her, this is actual stalking and potentially illegal. If you find yourself doing this, you may need to seek professional treatment. After a breakup, your brain is actually in withdrawal, like a drug user who’s craving a fix. Every time you stalk your ex on social media, you’re triggering the motivation system in your brain and releasing dopamine, which keeps you hooked. Digitally detoxing from your ex is the best way to move on. [3] X Expert Source Amy ChanRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
Be prepared to deal with either your ex or mutual friends asking you why you took this action. Your decision may hurt your ex or mutual friends even. However, explain that the pain of your breakup is too much and this was the best decision for you and not meant to hurt anyone. Realize that another added benefit of blocking someone is that you often need to refriend or refollow the person. The sheer embarrassment of having to ask permission to see so that you can stalk the person may keep you from doing this.
Prepare yourself to deal with invariable questions just as you may with blocking an ex. You can also use the same explanation, “Honestly, I need a break. Maybe in the future I can follow my ex on social media. For now, I need to just not see or be able to see what Gregory is doing. ”
Play off anything you may miss if you don’t want the person to know you’re no longer following his or her feeds. If a feed is mentioned, just say “oh, I must have missed that” or “I only got a quick glance because I didn’t notice it until I was at work. ” Consider being honest to mutual friends. You can say, “I’m so sorry, but it’s just too painful to see Gregory in your news feeds. I really value your friendship and know he does, too. For now, I’d love to catch up with what you’re doing in other ways. ”
Write your ex’s contact information on a piece of paper if you may need to contact the person. This keeps you from having the reminder of the person as well as the temptation of looking up his or her sites. that you won’t see every day and store it in a safe place. Consider blocking your ex’s phone number so you’re not tempted to respond if they reach out to you. [12] X Expert Source Amy ChanRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
Remember that it’s normal to mention an ex—especially if it is about a good time—sometimes. Avoiding any mention about the person with friends may feel awkward for everyone involved. If you need to bring up your ex as a way to process your feelings, do so but avoid making it a regular habit. Ask your friends to avoid mentioning your ex around you. This may remind you of your ex and could make you want to find out further details on social media. There may be situations, especially with mutual friends, where your ex’s name is mentioned or even discussed. If this happens, step away from conversation until there is a new topic.
Be open with your support system about your feelings. You can even let friends and family know that you’ve been following your ex on social media. They can offer you a open ear and advice, or remind you that talking about your ex is hurting you. In addition, your support system can do activities with you to distract you from your feelings and social media.
Do things like getting a massage or attending a yoga class, both of which can help you focus on you and relax. Spend time reading books that you didn’t get a chance to do with your ex. Try new activities that your ex doesn’t do. This can distract you from checking social media and reinforcing bad feelings. For example, you may have wanted to learn how to cook but your ex hated the idea. Taking a class and mastering different dishes can take up a lot of time that you may have otherwise been stalking your ex on social media.
Meet new people at new activities or by joining a group of something in which you’re interested. For example, join a running club or go to a different happy hour in a new place. Group activities are a great chance to meet new people and divert your mind from your ex. Flirt with new people you meet. You might not be ready to date, but a little harmless flirting can boost your self-confidence and distract you from your ex.
