Look in the mirror and calmly tell yourself, “There is no stigma to online dating. It is a safe and common way to meet others. ” Also, keep in mind that the possibility of meeting someone who you have a connection with outweighs the potential risk.
It can be difficult to get this list started, so try asking yourself, “What would my best friend say is my best quality?” Then, exchange “best friend” for other important people in your life. If you are body-conscious, try to find at least one thing you like about your appearance. Tell yourself, “I have amazing eyes,” and try to focus on that feature that you like rather than what you dislike. Remind yourself of compliments you have received in the past about your eyes and write these down. If you are not currently happy with the course of your life or your career, remind yourself that there is still good in what you do. Tell yourself, “I can pay my bills and I can find the humor in small things, and that makes my life worthwhile, just as it is. " When you are feeling less than confident, look over your list and remind yourself of your good traits. Eventually, the positive thinking becomes inherent.
Don’t continue to message someone who stopped talking to you or harass someone that never made contact with you. This could get you blocked or your account suspended, and it will not bring you any closer to having a meaningful relationship. Remind yourself, “If I’m not what they were looking for, they probably aren’t the kind of person I’m looking for, either. ” Remind yourself that you can do better than someone who won’t respond or stops communicating without a reason. If someone you’ve been talking to suddenly disappears, make up a reason for yourself. Tell yourself, “Maybe they decided to get serious with someone they already met. ” Reach out to someone else. The best way to get past rejection is to meet someone new. Send a message to someone else and work on finding a connection elsewhere.
Make a list of reasons why you are afraid to start dating online. For each reason, write out a worst-case-scenario. For example, you might be afraid of rejection, and the worst case may be that a match ridicules you for thinking you had a chance with them. For each negative scenario, find a way to overcome it. Let yourself know that someone who ridicules you for approaching them is not worth your time or love, and that you are better off not inviting that kind of negativity into your life.
Use these goals as a guideline when you start to date. If you meet a great person who wants a serious relationship while you are looking for something casual, don’t assume you can change them. Stick to your goals and move on. Avoid making your goals too rigid. Use them as a guideline for what you want overall, but try to avoid goals like, “I would like to be married within two years. " Being too strict could close you off to potentially fulfilling relationships.
Set aside time each day to do the things that are important to you. This may include daily exercise, cooking healthy or satisfying meals, seeing friends or family, or anything else that makes you feel like you are doing the best possible things for you. Take some time to indulge, as well. If you have had a particularly difficult day, for example, rather than letting the stress follow you home, take time to relax and pamper yourself that evening. This helps let you know that you are worth-it.
These sites, including eHarmony, are often behind a paywall, but offer a greater sense of security and comfort for some. Niche dating websites don’t work on an algorithm, but are catered toward people that share a common interest, such as religion, alma mater, or a profession such as farming.
Let people know what you want from online dating. If you’re ultimately looking for a relationship, don’t be afraid to say that you only want to date people interested in eventual commitment. If you prefer to keep things casual, let others know that you’re not looking for something serious. Highlight your personality. Think about those first-date facts, the details you would use to set you apart when you first meet someone, and put them in your profile. Instead of, “I’m a working professional looking to meet someone in my area,” try, “I’m a geologist who is passionate about their job and loves to take guitar lessons on the weekends. I’m looking for someone to explore the city with me. ”
Profiles with photos tend to get many more responses than those without. If you’re nervous, try posting a single image of yourself. That way, you aren’t giving people too much access, but you aren’t isolating potential matches, either. Try to avoid pictures where your face is obstructed. If posting a group photo makes you feel more comfortable, be sure to clarify which person you are in your profile or in a caption.
When someone asks you on a date online, politely suggest that you exchange phone numbers. This gives you a way to communicate to plan the date, as well as check up on their contact information.
It’s also advisable that the activity be something where you have the chance to talk and get to know one another. Avoid loud venues or activities that will keep you too occupied to chat. If you are greatly enjoying the date, you can stay for another cup or drink, or transition the date into a new activity such as dinner or a walk. If you are not enjoying yourself, politely excuse yourself when you’re done with your drink.
If your match suggests meeting in public but often uncrowded location, politely suggest an alternative spot. If your match asks you meet in private or at their house, refuse completely. Let them know that you are only comfortable meeting in public for a first date. Have a signal such as a text you can send to a friend to let them know if you feel unsafe or want their help exiting the date. Don’t let your date drive you home on the first date. Give it a couple meetings before you let them know where you live.
