Shyness is simply an uneasiness around other people. People who are shy may feel uncomfortable in certain social situations, but this usually does not interfere with their daily lives much. If you are shy, you may be able to get past it simply by challenging yourself to partake in social situations that make you uncomfortable. Social anxiety may resemble extreme shyness. People who suffer from social anxiety typically have unreasonable fears of embarrassing themselves in social situations, which interfere with their ability to function in society. If you suffer from social anxiety, a professional mental health expert can help you overcome your condition. Awkwardness, or being self-conscious, is the feeling that everyone is watching you, sometimes leading to embarrassment. It can happen to anyone, but this feeling peaks during the teenage years. [2] X Research source
When you have negative thoughts about yourself, try seeing them in a different way. For example, let’s say you’re feeling shy in a given situation. Instead of berating yourself, look at it from a different angle: you’re feeling quiet today, and there’s nothing wrong with that. There’s room for quiet people in the world, just like there is room for outgoing people. Realize that you’re great just as you are. You are a person worth knowing, even if you have imperfections - after all, everyone on earth has them. Sometimes things may be awkward, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. [3] X Expert Source Nicole Barile, PhD, NTPLicensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.
Consider taking some kind of small group class to learn a new skill, such as painting or kickboxing. You could also join a sports team or a social group that gets together to do activities.
For example, if you are worried that you will say something stupid if you try to talk to a girl you like, tell yourself that is not true because you are intelligent, you have lots of interesting things to talk about, and you have already made a plan for what you will talk to her about. Try to understand that even though you feel really awkward and uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean that the person you’re talking to is feeling the same way. [7] X Expert Source Nicole Barile, PhD, NTPLicensed Clinical Psychologist & Nutritional Therapist Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.
In order to really overcome your fears, you need to talk to people you don’t know instead of gluing yourself to your friends’ sides at a party. It may help you feel more confident if you know who will be at a particular event ahead of time. This is especially helpful for business networking. Find out as much as you can about these people before you meet them so you will know what to talk about.
The less you worry about your own awkwardness, the less it is likely to actually have a negative effect on your relationships, so just relax!
If you are passionate about something, whether it’s cars or travel, this is a great thing to talk about. It’s always easier to have a good conversation when the topic genuinely interests you. Current events are always good conversation starters, so get to know what’s going on in the world. Keep things light, especially if you are talking to someone you don’t know. Most people do not enjoy casual conversations about depressing subjects.
Asking lots of questions also prevents you from talking about yourself too much, which people tend not to like. [16] X Research source
Don’t overthink things and just keep talking. Even if you completely change the subject, at least the conversation will continue. If you can’t think of anything else to say, start talking about something in your shared environment, such as the weather conditions or the food at the party you both happen to be at. Start with something simple like, “What do you think about this weather we’ve been having?” to get started. [17] X Research source Keep in mind the silences don’t always need to be awkward. Try not to let it throw you off your game and ask a question, even if several seconds have passed. For example, if the person you were talking to was telling you about his vacation to Prague, consider jumping back into that conversation a moment later by saying something like, “So you’ve been to Prague. Have you traveled anywhere else in Europe?”
