In contrast, self-absorption is about placing your own needs and desires before anyone else’s. Self-absorbed people may be desperate for others’ approval and not have a great opinion about themselves. [5] X Research source
Keep your usual hobbies and sports going. Ask your partner along sometime to see what you do but don’t expect a “forever commitment” to your interests by your partner either. Start new interests as you continue to grow. [8] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. Do not stifle your maturation because you fear that your partner won’t like you changing or learning new things. A partner who feels this way is unhealthy to be around; all human beings grow and change over time, this is to be expected. [9] X Research source Stay active with your passions. Your relationship is but one passion, not a complete replacement for the range of joys in life.
If you have a partner who demands that you don’t see others and that you do nothing else but spend time together, be very wary. This is a sign of a controlling person who may well be manipulating you into obsessing about him or her and not letting anybody else into your lives. You may even end up convincing yourself that you made this choice, when you were actually manipulated into it. [11] X Research source
Quit the Facebook/Twitter stalking. Do you really need to know what your partner is up to all the time? Avoid spending too much time on social media. Find distractions, such as reading a good book and walking in nature.
Even if your partner fails to contact you because he or she doesn’t much care or is doing suspicious things such as being unfaithful, this is not a reason to obsess. This is a reason to find a new partner!
If you feel you “need” a partner, use that a warning bell to take a good look at yourself. Nobody “needs” a partner; we all need healthy social relationships, supportive people and love but a partner is only one source of that. It is certainly something many people would like in their lives but neediness shouldn’t be the motivation to become involved with someone. Love is a choice remember, not an imperative. Pick wisely. Realize that the irony is that the more you care about yourself and others, the more likely you are to attract someone who will love you deeply. Focusing on being the best person you can be and caring broadly for all people are attractive traits in any person.
