Seeking extramarital affairs[5] X Research source Using compulsive sexual behavior as an escape from loneliness, depression, anxiety or stress[6] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Thinking about sex to the exclusion of other interests and occupations Using pornography excessively Masturbating frequently, especially in inappropriate situations such as while at work Having sex with prostitutes Sexually harassing other people Having unprotected sex with strangers that could lead to sexually transmitted diseases (STD)s. If you are unsure whether you have an STD, get tested right away. If you are in a relationship, your partner should get tested as well. [7] X Research source
Risky sexual behavior is a hallmark of Borderline Personality Disorder, which the DSM-5 recognizes, and is treatable through therapy and sometimes medication. [9] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U. S. National Institutes of Health Go to source Get help immediately if you might harm yourself or others, have bipolar disorder, or are suicidal. [10] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
If you are in a committed partnership, marriage and family therapists can help both you and your partner.
An experienced therapist can help you handle the intricacies of your situation. As societal acceptance of sexual addictions varies, your therapist can help you navigate your relationships and overcome any shame you might feel. [15] X Research source
If you’re having trouble because you feel embarrassed, consider therapy like any other form of treatment. If you had a physical illness, you’d see a doctor. If you had a cavity, you’d see a dentist. You probably wouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed about seeking those treatments. Remind yourself that you are seeking help to make your life healthier and happier, and that’s a sign of courage and belief in yourself that is admirable. Remember you are not alone. Many people struggle with hypersexual disorder. Mental health providers are discreet and understanding. They will keep your information confidential unless you report that you will hurt yourself or another, report the sexual abuse of a child, or report abuse or neglect of someone in a vulnerable population (e. g. elderly or underage). [16] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source
You might have loved ones who do not understand sex addiction or who are angry with you for your past behavior. These feelings are normal. Try to find a few people who can understand your struggle and help you be successful. Do not spend too much time with critical people.
Feel a new sense of freedom. Care about things besides sex and spend more time on things you love. Concentrate on forming deeper bonds with people. Repair your relationships. Feel proud about being able to overcome an addiction.
I am quitting because I want to repair my relationship with my partner and move back to my family. I am quitting because I contracted an STD and know I need to make better choices. I am quitting because I want to set a good example for my children.
Certain situations might trigger addictive behavior. For example, maybe you have one-night stands when you travel for work. Figure out a way to prevent yourself from doing this. Travel with a colleague or try to stay with a platonic friend instead of alone at a hotel.
You of course can retain the information of your committed partner or spouse.
Write daily in your journal. Take music lessons or join a choir or band. Take an art class or draw, paint, or sculpt at home. Take up a new hobby that requires physical exertion, such as woodworking. Try stress reduction activities like yoga or tai chi. [22] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world’s leading hospitals Go to source Do activities that get your heart racing like caving or parachuting.
Your therapist can help you work toward this. You may even find that a therapist with specific training in sexual health issues can be useful in teaching you ways to develop a healthy attitude toward sex. Explore what you like about sex. When you’re addicted to sex, you may do things that you don’t even really enjoy doing because they feed your compulsion. Take some time to explore what you actually enjoy about sex. What makes you feel valued as a sexual partner? What feelings do you enjoy inspiring in others?[23] X Research source Try to consider sex as a part of a healthy life, rather than its own “forbidden fruit” or something to hide or be ashamed of. Someone with a problem overeating won’t simply stop eating food; similarly, you do not have to simply stop having sex. You just want to learn a healthier way of integrating it into your overall life. [24] X Research source
If you relapse, review your journal. Read your mission statement and remind yourself why you want to recover. Stay fully engaged in therapy and your support group.
