A lot of other people are working to overcome shyness, too; you just can’t tell. If you make a blunder, forget about it. Most people are more forgiving than you think. Each time you talk to someone, be proud that you gave it a try.
Practice making eye contact but not staring, having confident body language, making introductions, and asking questions. Practice smiling while engaging in conversation. Practice with a male or female to start. Practice in front of the mirror, too. When you’re ready, practice taking a female on a date – ask your girl cousin if she’ll play the role so you can hone your social skills. Practice Complimenting her.
Stop making excuses for being shy. Get out there and do something about it.
One way to practice compassion is to reach out to someone who looks like they’re lonely. Ask them for a coffee or eat your lunch with them.
Self-blaming or exaggerating your faults can only harm your heart and your chances of meeting that great girl!
By putting yourself out there and being rejected, you’ll realize that being rejected isn’t the end of the world. You’ll never succeed if you don’t try. Not asking means never getting that first date!
Remember that most people you meet are too busy worrying about what others think about them to really notice and judge you. Look around and realize that people aren’t laughing at you or judging you.
There are also TED Talks for shyness that can inspire you and give you hints. [7] X Research source Practice using real-life situations and measure your shyness and anxiety before and after. You’ll see that your shyness and anxiety decrease as you practice more and your confidence increases.
By having to interact with your teammates, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practice conversing. Get to know your teammates slowly over time and become more at ease chatting with them. Seek a role in the group, such as timekeeper or note taker. When you have a task to fulfill, it takes some of the pressure off chatting. [9] X Research source
When you are out with your friends or family, try to initiate conversation within the group. After a while, you’ll become comfortable engaging people in a casual manner.
Helping a girl have a good time at a party that she was dreading will not only increase your confidence but make you feel good for helping someone out.
Slowly increasing your efforts to talk to new people is what psychologists would call graded self-exposure and is a common technique in overcoming fears.
Don’t worry about a clever opening line. Though they might work on TV, most girls think they’re cheesy. Instead, start by introducing yourself and ask her how her day is going.
When you go into a new social situation, try to have an idea or two in your back pocket of something interesting you can bring up but not in a showy way. Don’t rehearse what you’re going to say. If you try to verbatim remember something you practiced, you might get flustered and embarrassed if you forget what you were going to say. When in doubt, ask her about herself. Girls love it when you show interest in them and really listen.
Try not to monopolize the conversation talking about yourself because she might not be interested in all the same topics as you. Ask her questions and show that you’re really listening by asking additional questions that build on what she just told you. For example, if she mentions going away with her parents for the weekend to their cottage, don’t start talking about the cottage you went to last weekend, but instead ask her more about the cottage or her parents. Respond appropriately. Don’t just make it 20 questions. If she asks about you, answer her.
