Practice giving trust before suspicion. Give your partner trust first and see how it feels. Let your partner know you are choosing to trust them instead of being suspicious. Remember that if you’re monitoring your partner, it means that you’re already suspicious of them. You might misinterpret anything that you find.
For example, instead of worrying what your partner is doing when they go out, have a talk before they leave and get an idea for where they are going and what they are doing. Get in the habit of having these talks without pressing them for information. When talking to your partner, be calm and friendly. If you accuse or blame them of things, they may become defensive. If you appear mad or upset, they may not want to talk.
There will be times when you think something is fishy. On such occasions, it’s worth changing your approach and finding out more details. For example, if worried about your partner’s secretive texting, say, “I find it odd that you’re so secretive when you text. Can you tell me what’s up?” This works better than, “I don’t trust you and think you’re hiding something from me. ”
Look for a counselor who works with couples specifically and who will see you and your partner together. You can find a couples’ therapist by calling your insurance provider or local mental health clinic.
For example, if your inner dialog tends to tell you how awkward you are or how embarrassed you should be, replace it with things that make you feel good about yourself, such as, “Even if I didn’t explain myself well, I still tried and did a better job communicating. ” If your self-esteem issues are interfering with your relationship, you may want to seek help from a licensed therapist on your own. They can help build your self-esteem, which may strengthen your relationship.
If you don’t know where to start, try volunteering. You can meet new people and know you’re making a difference in your community. [9] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source You can try and pick up a new sport, do yoga, paint, dance, hike, or create music.
Spend time with your friends and family outside of your relationship. Make time for meals, nights out, and activities with people you care about.
If you struggle to process your emotions, try journaling, listening to music, or taking a walk.
Your partner may even have hurt you or betrayed your trust in the past. If trust was broken in the past, forgive it and move on if you wish to continue the relationship. For example, if your last partner cheated on you, it makes sense that you would be extra careful this time around. Remember, however, that your current partner has not cheated on you.
If your partner hasn’t been suspicious or unfaithful yet you still worry, recognize that your insecurity is what likely drives the distrust. If your partner has been unfaithful (or you’ve been unfaithful), ask yourself if you can let go and move on with the relationship.
Recognize that you’ve made mistakes or have been hurt in the past, yet you were able to learn from those experiences. Accept the lessons and move past the hurt by forgiving yourself.
Find a therapist by calling your insurance provider or local mental health clinic. You can also get a recommendation from a physician or friend.
