Try the “victory” pose. Put your arms in a “V” over your head. [2] X Research source Stretch out in your seat or cross your legs and put your hands behind your head. Hold these poses for about 2 minutes before going out to the bars (or doing anything stressful).
Try dressing in clothes that you want to see yourself in. If you’ve always wanted to wear a suit, go out in a suit. The point is to wear something you associate with power and confidence. [3] X Research source Think about other qualities you want to have when you’re looking in the mirror, even if they’re not physical qualities. For example, maybe you want to be more charismatic or funny. Once you identify things you want to improve, you can start practicing. [4] X Expert Source Imad JbaraRelationship Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
It’s a common misconception that you have to be confident to seem confident, but in reality, when it comes to confidence, most of us fake it ‘til we make it. If you pretend to be confident, eventually, you’ll start to feel confident. Anyway, even if you pretend to be confident, most people won’t know the difference. They’ll just see a guy with great self-esteem and want to be around him!
Don’t feel obligated to stick to gay bars. If you want to go to a bunch of different clubs in an evening, feel free to do so. The world is a more progressive place than it was in the past, but be careful. Some guys may not appreciate if you question their sexuality. [8] X Research source There are also loads of apps for meeting gay guys nowadays. Try Grindr, Adult Friend Finder, or Tinder to meet gay or bi people looking to hook up, or OK Cupid or Hinge if you’re interested in making a deeper connection.
Make sure you’re in the mood to flirt and be flirted with, but you don’t have to approach a man every time you go out. Don’t hit on every single guy you find attractive. You’ll come across as disingenuous, and it may hurt your chances of meeting someone.
This doesn’t mean cracking jokes or spouting off a witty one-liner is out of the question. Quite the contrary: if it’s original and you’re saying it honestly, go for it. [9] X Research source “Hi, how’s it going?” “Hey, what’s your name?” “Hello, you look like you’re having a good time! Can I join you?”
Don’t play games. If you like the guy you’re talking to, then let him know you’re into him. [10] X Research source “You’ve got some great dance moves!” “I love that outfit!” “You’re really cute, and I’d like to keep talking to you if that’s OK!”
“Are you from the area?” “This is my favorite song! Do you know this band?” “Have you been here before? Do you have any plans after this?”
Prolonged conversation is another good sign. If he doesn’t look distracted and isn’t trying to find ways to get away from you, assume he’s interested. “I gotta say, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you tonight. ” “It’s been great meeting you and I hope we can keep talking!” “I feel really lucky I decided to come here tonight!”
Better yet, ask him if he’d like your number. This makes you come across more genuinely interested and it gives folks who might be wary of handing out their number an out: if they don’t want to text you, they don’t have to. [14] X Research source Prepare yourself for the eventuality that some guys may say “no” when you ask to exchange numbers. Even if you had a nice conversation, they may not want to move things further. That’s OK. Everyone encounters rejection. Don’t let it scare you away. [15] X Research source “Do you think I could get your number? I’d love to text you later. ” “Maybe we could exchange numbers and go out some time?” “Can I give you my number? Maybe you could shoot me a text if you want to go out sometime. ”
There’s no hard and fast rule about how long to wait before texting someone, but if you wait too long, you risk losing the momentum you had with this guy when you met—or worse, he might think you’re playing games. [16] X Research source It’s possible that he won’t respond to you, or that if he does, you’ll find that the two of you don’t have much in common, or the attraction isn’t there anymore. Either way, be respectful. “Hey, it’s Dan from the other night! It was so great meeting you. What are you up to?” “What’s up! It’s Clay from last night. I’ve been thinking about you!” “Hi, it’s Amal from yesterday! How’s it going?”
